I never stop,
Love just keeps coming to this heart,
And even with all these barricades,
I welcome it in,
Open arms and lusting lips,
Breathing in every kiss,
Surviving off of this,
With every newborn night.
Just a second,
We can do this,
I see it in our eyes,
The identical shine,
The rising smile,
From the very bottom of my stomach,
Rising until I crinkle my nose,
From the growing smile.
You mean so much to me,
and you don't know it.
We agreed that we aren't here,
Even though I want to hear it,
Whisper it in my ear,
Tell me this thing that's flourishing,
Is something real,
Something that I can dream about,
That will always put a smile on my f
It's overwhelming.Everywhere by ryu-ni-bara, literature
Literature
It's overwhelming.Everywhere
It's overwhelming.
Everywhere I'm staring,
But nothing is changing.
This isn't darkness,
This isn't crippling fear,
This isn't the possibility,
Of a life ending,
Of horrifying despair.
I know things will be fine,
But deep inside,
There's this constant worry.
Anxiety is gnawing at me,
I'm fidgeting,
Heavy breathing,
Frustrated and tired.
I'm under the wire,
It's cutting,
Time is chafing,
My bones are aching,
And I'm going nowhere.
I hate these things.
I don't want life to be simple,
In theory,
but I need a break.
I'm tired for tireds sake,
And I don't want to do this,
Not anymore.
In a closet hidden,
Rocking back and forth.
I'm not afraid of,
I miss you so much.
It feels as though my heart,
Has been tossed in the middle of a busy street,
And no one sees the damage they're causing,
As they run it over again and again.
God I miss your face,
I miss your affection,
Your touch and love.
Every dream you're in it,
You dominate every waking thought.
God why can't you leave,
Leave me alone please.
You're not good for me,
But my body yearns for you,
An addiction,
A craving,
I never was good at saying no,
To you.
You begged me back,
Something no one's ever done.
Why can't you love me openly,
Honestly,
Give me your heart so I can care for it,
I really will,
I'd hold i
Everything inside of me is in limbo.
The previously shattered pieces waiting,
Hoping that the glue holding them together will stay,
Hoping it will stick this time,
Hold this time,
Keep us all together.
I need some balance in my life,
That little bit of serenity that comes so easily,
In the earlier years.
Bring to me that peace and ease,
That comes to me in my dreams.
I'm tired of having to be everyone's mother.
I never wanted children,
So why am I surrounded by them.
In the guise of adults they throw their tantrums,
And it's so tiring,
So very annoying,
And I don't want to baby them anymore.
I don't have adult toys at hand
I fell,
I fell again,
I didn't want to,
You drew me in.
You're winning,
I'm fighting,
But I'm not going anywhere.
I care,
I do care,
I feel it far too much.
It's there,
In your stare,
The confusion of your touch,
It's invigorating,
It does so much,
To restore my soul.
How can I tremble,
Even now,
At the thought,
Of you being close.
Shut down,
I need to shut down,
I'm vulnerable,
I'm scared,
Please know I care,
I care again,
And it's terrifying.
I'm fighting,
Fighting for you,
Please help me be,
Born anew.
I cry,
I cry again,
It's not cleansing,
It's not what I need,
But I can't scream.
Nothing helps,
I've
I can do this,
I know I can,
Nothing can bring me,
Down again.
I can stop it,
This pattern,
That I'm repeating.
And I'm seeing,
Without the rose tint,
In my glasses,
And though it hurts,
I know what's worse,
Is lying to myself,
But not really,
Fooling anyone.
I know I'm not stupid,
And that I am strong,
And I can do this,
I beat the wrong.
I can demand respect,
The rights I deserve,
I'm a good person,
Don't need to be hurt.
No more doubt,
No more pain,
No more wondering,
No more rain.
I don't need to be ripped apart,
To prove that I am worthy,
I can do this on my own,
This faith and belief,
This believing in me,
I can't explain this feeling,
It's all bundled up inside.
The way I'm really feeling,
Is lost among the lies.
Between reality and fantasy,
Lies the truth amid the trash,
Lies the truth amid the turmoil,
Lies the truth amid the fears.
I can't explain the confusion,
The want to know,
Just what it all means.
I know I want more,
But I can't make it come about.
Everything is fifty feet above me,
Holding me,
Puppet strings, tying me down.
This fluttering,
This nausea,
This tidal wave of the unexplainable,
It's taking me nowhere.
And somewhere,
I know it's where I want to be,
But it'll never happen,
I can't be free.
When will
I never stop,
Love just keeps coming to this heart,
And even with all these barricades,
I welcome it in,
Open arms and lusting lips,
Breathing in every kiss,
Surviving off of this,
With every newborn night.
Just a second,
We can do this,
I see it in our eyes,
The identical shine,
The rising smile,
From the very bottom of my stomach,
Rising until I crinkle my nose,
From the growing smile.
You mean so much to me,
and you don't know it.
We agreed that we aren't here,
Even though I want to hear it,
Whisper it in my ear,
Tell me this thing that's flourishing,
Is something real,
Something that I can dream about,
That will always put a smile on my f
It's overwhelming.Everywhere by ryu-ni-bara, literature
Literature
It's overwhelming.Everywhere
It's overwhelming.
Everywhere I'm staring,
But nothing is changing.
This isn't darkness,
This isn't crippling fear,
This isn't the possibility,
Of a life ending,
Of horrifying despair.
I know things will be fine,
But deep inside,
There's this constant worry.
Anxiety is gnawing at me,
I'm fidgeting,
Heavy breathing,
Frustrated and tired.
I'm under the wire,
It's cutting,
Time is chafing,
My bones are aching,
And I'm going nowhere.
I hate these things.
I don't want life to be simple,
In theory,
but I need a break.
I'm tired for tireds sake,
And I don't want to do this,
Not anymore.
In a closet hidden,
Rocking back and forth.
I'm not afraid of,
I miss you so much.
It feels as though my heart,
Has been tossed in the middle of a busy street,
And no one sees the damage they're causing,
As they run it over again and again.
God I miss your face,
I miss your affection,
Your touch and love.
Every dream you're in it,
You dominate every waking thought.
God why can't you leave,
Leave me alone please.
You're not good for me,
But my body yearns for you,
An addiction,
A craving,
I never was good at saying no,
To you.
You begged me back,
Something no one's ever done.
Why can't you love me openly,
Honestly,
Give me your heart so I can care for it,
I really will,
I'd hold i
Everything inside of me is in limbo.
The previously shattered pieces waiting,
Hoping that the glue holding them together will stay,
Hoping it will stick this time,
Hold this time,
Keep us all together.
I need some balance in my life,
That little bit of serenity that comes so easily,
In the earlier years.
Bring to me that peace and ease,
That comes to me in my dreams.
I'm tired of having to be everyone's mother.
I never wanted children,
So why am I surrounded by them.
In the guise of adults they throw their tantrums,
And it's so tiring,
So very annoying,
And I don't want to baby them anymore.
I don't have adult toys at hand
I fell,
I fell again,
I didn't want to,
You drew me in.
You're winning,
I'm fighting,
But I'm not going anywhere.
I care,
I do care,
I feel it far too much.
It's there,
In your stare,
The confusion of your touch,
It's invigorating,
It does so much,
To restore my soul.
How can I tremble,
Even now,
At the thought,
Of you being close.
Shut down,
I need to shut down,
I'm vulnerable,
I'm scared,
Please know I care,
I care again,
And it's terrifying.
I'm fighting,
Fighting for you,
Please help me be,
Born anew.
I cry,
I cry again,
It's not cleansing,
It's not what I need,
But I can't scream.
Nothing helps,
I've
I can do this,
I know I can,
Nothing can bring me,
Down again.
I can stop it,
This pattern,
That I'm repeating.
And I'm seeing,
Without the rose tint,
In my glasses,
And though it hurts,
I know what's worse,
Is lying to myself,
But not really,
Fooling anyone.
I know I'm not stupid,
And that I am strong,
And I can do this,
I beat the wrong.
I can demand respect,
The rights I deserve,
I'm a good person,
Don't need to be hurt.
No more doubt,
No more pain,
No more wondering,
No more rain.
I don't need to be ripped apart,
To prove that I am worthy,
I can do this on my own,
This faith and belief,
This believing in me,
I can't explain this feeling,
It's all bundled up inside.
The way I'm really feeling,
Is lost among the lies.
Between reality and fantasy,
Lies the truth amid the trash,
Lies the truth amid the turmoil,
Lies the truth amid the fears.
I can't explain the confusion,
The want to know,
Just what it all means.
I know I want more,
But I can't make it come about.
Everything is fifty feet above me,
Holding me,
Puppet strings, tying me down.
This fluttering,
This nausea,
This tidal wave of the unexplainable,
It's taking me nowhere.
And somewhere,
I know it's where I want to be,
But it'll never happen,
I can't be free.
When will
Current Residence: San Antonio, TX Favourite genre of music: Just about everything Favourite photographer: Lonshaou Operating System: XP or Windows 7 Favourite cartoon character: Grr and Squee Personal Quote: "Life is crazily in love with us - wildly and innocently in love with us." Rob Brezsny
Favourite Movies
Lost Skeleton of Cadavra and Dead Poet Society
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
Blue October
Favourite Writers
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Favourite Games
Bards Tale
Favourite Gaming Platform
PS2
Tools of the Trade
Depressing memories.
Other Interests
Writing, reading, poetry, anime, manga, things like that.
Ahh! For everyone out there, I am currently spending a month in Siena, Italy, at the University of Siena! EXCITING!! If anyone has any information about the place, or anything interesting to see, send it my way, please!
I am back dA and my amazing followers!
I made this account many, MANY years ago, and I forgot my password! The mods of dA were very careful with resetting it for me, since you can never quite confirm who the person is, and I couldn't remember my old e-mail, silly me! It's been a bit, but I'm finally able to reset my password and be back to dA!
Thank you to all of those who have sent me well wishes, and I hope I can start posting more poems for you all soon!
Have a wonderful day! :)
I'm so very happy. I'm divorced, but very happy. I think this is actually the brightest and most optimistic life has been in many years, which I know may sound strange, but it's true. Been writing a bit, trying to get back into the groove of things, it always makes me feel better.
Much appreciate all of the support on my poems! You guys rock!
I hope everyone elses life is working out as well as mine.
Hey! I'm so sorry! Obviously my response is months late. I lost my password to this site months ago, and I have been in a battle to recover it. Finally back though, and this was very kind of you! Thank you!